BTS: What It Really Means to Love Myself?

Before I wasn't a fan of Korean pop culture, and this is coming from a person who is an aesthete of the arts. But then, there's always a crack in my choice of music and movies enough to change my mind. BTS or Bangtan Sonyeondan (방탄 소년단) was the catalyst.

I got into the South Korean boy group thanks to the time I was procrastinating via Youtube videos on February 2021. It's not only their charisma and their music that got me hooked, but also how they implement psychology and storytelling into their music, performances, and music videos. They don't only make songs about pretty girls and falling in love, but also songs about the youth, the society, and their struggles; songs that bring us comfort in a world of hate and violence. This is what attracts the fanbase that they have now. Millions and counting.

My friend says that it's amazing how they come into your life somehow at the right time when you need them. It almost sounds like they're a superhero of some sort. To be honest, it was the case for me and for some people I knew on the Internet. You'd think it's like that whenever a band, an artist, or a show comes into your life that gives you so much joy and entertainment.

But BTS is different. Their songs and messages touch on topics that many of the youth now can relate to. One of them is "Love Myself". 

In 2017, BTS started a Love Myself Campaign to branch out a message that they have been pursuing since their debut in 2013. It is to create a better world to live in, by truly loving yourself and sharing that love with others. Along with that message, they partnered with UNICEF to end the violence and abuse against children.

While I was looking through the internet, I stumble upon a 2018 article asking: "Love Yourself": Is this the wrong message from BTS to their listeners? At first glance, you'd think this is an article you don't want to read if you don't want to get riled up. But after personally reading it, the writer is coming from a level of concern, and not aiming to bash the band. It is a reality check. With all this positivity from the two-word message and upbeat music, it's a discussion on what it really means to love yourself.

It makes us think about how ARMY (BTS fans) may take the boys' message the wrong way if they don't look beyond it, if they're just casual fans, or if they don't truly read the lyrics. The article explores the meaning behind Loving Yourself, and I agree with what the author is trying to say. Although he or she only mentioned two songs to support their perspective, there are actually many songs and situations where the South Korean artists actually talk about other than loving yourself, you have to better yourself. 

THE DARK SIDE OF LOVING MYSELF

Is it okay to love yourself with all your flaws and imperfections? Without even making room for improvement? I would like to requote some quotes the article I mentioned:

“The common assumption most of us make about the self is that our goal as individuals is to look within, find our true selves, and try to be as authentic and true to ourselves as we can be,” Harvard professor Michael Puett said. “But this assumes we have a stable self.”

If you don't go beyond what it truly means to Love Yourself, you might think that loving yourself means to love every single part, every flaw that you have, without even admitting the fact that you need to do something about it (especially those flaws you can have control over); that you are fine just the way you are.

Like for example, if you're a lazy person, you are okay with it, because that's the way you are. That is your authentic self. Your parents may bug you into picking yourself up and getting a job, but you get fed up, thinking they're going against you when in fact they are concerned about your well-being. In the end, you tell yourself that you love the way you are and you accept it. But therein lies the reality, you won't grow. That is toxic positivity; being obsessed with positive thinking that you become pretty callous towards reality, your growth, and your maturity.

"While ‘accepting our flaws’ are commonly viewed as solutions to lack of self-confidence or self-esteem, this mindset will restrict us from improving ourselves. Realizing our flaws are more important than accepting them."

When people criticize you or your work, what is your first reaction? Do you dismiss their comments or take note of them? If you choose the mindset of just accepting your flaws, you'll usually ignore what other people say about you; even if it's coming from a place of care, a place of this desire to see you grow. You'll become close-minded.

Unless it's not constructive criticism, you're supposed to listen and take note of what they have to say in order to be better, to do better. RM (Kim Namjoon) actually mentioned this in his Vlive. He looks at constructive criticisms (not hate) as a perspective of someone who may know better, has the same passion for the music industry, and wants to see the group do better than they are now. When it comes to hate, BTS sees it as a challenge, a motivation to prove them wrong. Well, right now personally, I don't think they have anything to prove anymore.

In fact, RM has mentioned in the BTS Festa 2021 about those tough years where they received harsh criticisms and hate. He thought he can admit it now that he's thankful for those years because, without them, BTS won't be who they are now. Thick-skinned. Passionate and strong. 

BTS Festa 2021 (BTS' 8th year Anniversary)

WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO LOVE YOURSELF?

Some may argue that we are perfect, that we're made different and we're unique in our own ways. That's true, but that doesn't mean we ignore the repeated mistakes that we're making in our lives and consider it as "that's the way we are" ("I' don't think I'm ever capable", "I'm not that good anyway").

“The modern idea is that you’re supposed to accept yourself,” said Canadian clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto Jordan Peterson. “I think that’s an insane idea, by the way. Really, I can’t think of a more nihilistic idea than that ‘you’re already okay!’”

This one's coming from my favorite psychologist. If there's something you don't like about yourself, don't just accept yourself, go better yourself. It's not logical to just love your flaws. It's futile to stop comparing yourself to others. What we can do is understand ourselves, and love ourselves enough that we will do anything to be better versions of ourselves. Stop settling for less. Stop settling for where you are now, and start pushing for who you want to be.

source: The Rise of Bangtan Chapter 17: Respect

The boys admitted in the docu-series, Burn the Stage (and in Vlives or interviews), that out of the 7 of them, Jin is the member that showed so much improvement in every performance they do. The eldest of the 7 has become an inspiration to a lot of people who think they're not good at anything. He was taken by Bighit because of his good looks, but the thing is he has no singing or dancing experience. He wanted to become an actor and he was studying to become one.

He has shown his great acting skills in music videos, but all the more, he has shown so much growth in his singing and dancing over the years. He did it through hard work, determination, and passion. He did have doubts about his choice of being in the band and doubts about his abilities, but he looks at it as a motivation to prove to himself that he can become better. He was positive that he can, and he did. He not only proved to himself but also, to the world. 

Jin performing "Epiphany"

If you're an ARMY, you are well aware that BTS always say these lines after every performance and in most of their award speeches: "We'll do better" or "We'll show a better side of ourselves..." Even though we find their performance amazing and perfect, or we want the boys to stop being hard on themselves, this band that broke through award shows and barriers, these 7 human beings, always want to do better, always want to improve themselves. They always ask themselves: How high can BTS go? 

BTS is not only saying to just accept you for who you are. They're saying to love yourself enough to become the better you.

Source (Youtube): BTS winning MAMA 2018 Artist of the Year 

BTS' SONGS THAT SHARE THE MESSAGE OF LOVING BETTERING YOURSELF

Back to the article, it has mentioned two songs: Idol and Young Forever. They brought up the concern from the Idol lyrics "You can't stop me loving myself" and then to end the article with bettering yourself they quote from the lyrics from Young Forever: "even when [you] fall and hurt [yourself], [you should] endlessly run toward [your] dream.”

Other than these songs, there are more of them that talks about breaking from your present self to become a better self like Nevermind

"If you think you’re gonna crash, accelerate even harder, you idiot.

Never mind, Never mind. 

We’re too young to give up, you idiot"

Bangtan has always expressed their experiences and thoughts through their songs and lyrics. Written by SUGA (Min Yoongi) of BTS and Slow Rabbit, Nevermind talks about what Suga went through from when he was a teen, how a lot of people were telling him he wouldn't make it and how he matured to who he is now. They had a lot to learn when they were young, through their failures and embarrassments. It's a song that cries out to never give up. If you feel like you're going to fall, then push through it, finish it and get back up the next day, a better person.

 RM's everythingoes (ft. NELL) from his second solo mixtape, Mono:

"Like morning comes after night goes

would summer come after spring goes

Like fruits ripen after flowers wither away,

everything must suffer...

...Every day I pray

that I can be a little better grownup

And every day I stay

Because all humans and all the pains eventually die..."

I heard that this song was inspired by something that happened during the trip where RM lost his passport (correct me if I'm wrong fellow Armies). RM then said he learned from a teacher or mentor that "everything goes" that "it shall pass". It's a common saying that we hear, words of comfort. "That this too shall pass"

All of us, the whole earth, nature, and us human beings, go through pain and suffering. We have to go through it in order to learn more about ourselves. We have to go through failure in order to be successful. We shall not worry that this pain and suffering will last. It too shall pass. We should only look at it as a learning curve, and look back at it in the future with gratitude, because of that moment, you're who you are now.

The last song that I would share is Magic Shop, a song written for the fans. This is not the first, but the second song that BTS wrote for ARMY.

"You gave me the best of me

So you'll give me the best of you

You'll find the galaxy inside you

So show me (I'll show you)

So show me (I'll show you)

So show me (I'll show you)

Show you, show you"

The boys never fail to always thank their fans. They, including the people outside of the group and in the K-pop industry, believe the fans are what brought them to where they are now. You might say, "Well, yeah, that's obvious" if you aren't aware of their journey. BTS and their company, Bighit (now under Hybe Labels as BigHit Music), started as a small company. They were told they couldn't make it. The company was at one moment on the brink of bankruptcy. 

Not a lot of media and shows would take them seriously and would even cut them off from broadcasts. The company didn't have enough money to truly market the group unlike the big 3 companies in the industry. The only thing fuelling their popularity was their fans, ARMY. We helped spread their music and their voice. 

This song is the boys expressing their utmost love and gratitude to the fans and now, they're encouraging us the same way that we have done for them. "So you helped me become the best of me, now it's your turn to become the best of you. Show your best self"

LOVE MYSELF, BETTER MYSELF

It feels like a long essay (laughs). I wrote this not to bash or prove the 2018 article wrong. Again, I agree with them and I just want to emphasize it from a perspective of a fan, from a place of love and care for the boys and their message. 

I only want to set things straight for those who are from the outside looking in and aren't deeply aware of what they mean by "Love Yourself", and to remind ARMY that Loving Yourself doesn't only mean to accept the way you are. I have said it perhaps twice already, but it's worth mentioning again, love yourself enough to become a better you.

Wouldn't it be nice to see a better you in the future? A better and beautiful side of yourself that you never thought you had? An unfound galaxy within you? Wouldn't it be nice to look back at your old self and think, because of my failures and seeing my flaws, I have become the me that I am now today?

BTS then (2013) and now (2021)